Dear future Kelly,
There’s going to come a time when you start to doubt yourself.
This letter is for that moment.
Remember how for 2023 you chose the word “Progress” as your word of the year? I still haven’t blogged about it, so yes, historical Kel is a bit tardy. Anyway, that’s the word of the year for everyone reading along at home (surprise).
Apparently I didn’t get the memo about the definition being gradual progress, because I’ve kinda come out of the gates racing this year.
At the start of the year my confidence sucked, I had food anxiety, and I wasn’t making time for things that I enjoy. Work was all-encompassing, it was all I could think about or talk about to anyone. I was overweight, uncomfortable, and generally unhappy.
It’s now the 11th of February. We’ve just aged up, future Kelly. And from where you’re sitting, I hope you’re laughing about how this all used to be a challenge. I hope the challenge you’re facing right now that made you come and look at this letter now seems pale in comparison.
Now, let me remind you of your tenacity and your strength. Let me show you why you need to have confidence in yourself, because you actually really kick ass.
8 weeks of big decisions
Let’s take a look at what you’ve already done this year.
Starting to learn to cook
You hate cooking. It’s a common joke about how much you hate being in the kitchen. Yet this year you ripped off the bandaid and decided it was time to get over that fear. It was time to show yourself that you can learn how to cook, and you can learn to love food.
Your issues with weight come from going for the easy option, or the sugar-induced dopamine hit. Neither are good choices by the way, we both know that.
You’ve signed up for a plan, you’re taking baby steps, and trying to cook a meal or two every week. Your husband is supporting you through it.
Most Sundays (there’s been a few we’ve missed) you have meal-planned the week and done the grocery shopping online.
Do you realise how hard all of this is? To tackle that fear head-on?
YOU ARE DOING THIS, FUTURE KEL.
Fuck. Yes.
Also, you sliced your thumb open with a misplaced knife when trying to cut an avocado, but scars show you lived your life, right? Let’s go with that anyway. Pretend you’re a badass or something.
Quit your job
Now, I can’t go into the exact details as to why I quit. I never talk about my employer here, and I won’t start now.
What I can say is that I’ve decided to walk away from somewhere that I have spent the majority of my life at for the past 11 years. I have been surrounded by some of the most talented and incredible people I’ve ever known. I have been challenged, supported, encouraged, criticised, and all the other -ised things.
It has been my comfort, my happy place, and my nightmare.
I am walking away with my head held high, knowing that I have done a damn good job. I have pushed myself and delivered some incredible things. I have transformed the experience for our clients, and made the lives of my colleagues easier. I have learned to be assertive, and I have learned to listen. I have learned the gift of silence and how powerful that can be.
When I started with this business I was a mid-20’s kid that was only just starting to figure herself out.
So why walk away?
For a lot of reasons that got me to where I was, I felt I needed to make a call for my own health and happiness. I saw the effect my work had on my body, and on my family. They never got a happy wife or mother.
My husband asked me why I wanted to quit, and I said simply:
“I want to be happy. I want to be a good mother and wife again.”
– Me, a few weeks ago
I need this. My former company needs this. It’s a wake-up call for a fair few of us, and it’s going to hurt.
My son needs to see that it’s OK to make big decisions when it’s scary to do so.
I am so lucky that I have an incredible opportunity to start afresh with some equally amazing people, whom I’m sure I will come to love and appreciate just as much. I’m excited about what I have to offer them. I’m looking forward to something new, and the challenges that it presents.
And I know that I can approach this company with the confidence that I will give it my all like I always do.
So…why are you telling me this?
Future Kelly, you are going to let this moment fade away. Eventually, the rollercoaster moment will hit, things will seem hard, and you’ll start doubting yourself.
You’re going to forget how amazing you can be when you put your mind to something.
You’re going to forget how you’re in control of the narrative, and choosing your own adventure.
You are incredible.
You can do this.
And you can choose to be happy.
Oh, by the way go give your husband a kiss and your son a hug.
You have an amazing little family unit. While ultimately you are doing all of the above for yourself, it’s also for them. They deserve a happy mother and wife. Luca deserves a model of health, and someone that doesn’t tire of energy. Someone that knocks off work and walks out with a smile on her face, ready to play. Your husband deserves someone that has confidence in herself and all the intimate moments that brings.
All the moments of the future are waiting for you – don’t waste that.
You have a great family – make sure they know they’re appreciated, and you’re not just writing about it on a blog post.
Good luck future Kel.
You’ve got this.
And happy birthday.