The story of how Kelsbells got engaged

Before I explain about how my amazing fella proposed to me, there’s a few things you need to know about us:

• He is incredibly romantic. I am not.
• He is classy and stylish. I am not.
• He’s quite cluey. I am very clearly not.

The best thing about this story is that it’s not traditionally romantic in the sense, despite my boy’s best attempts. I think our story really sums us up as people, and our relationship. There are no fireworks, or public proposals, or anything over the top.

I loved it.

A week before the main event, we had been walking our dog down by the beach. I remarked on how many people were outside having picnics, and suggested to Mario that we should have one ourselves one day. It was the week before Christmas, and thought we could just have a picnic one day after work, since I was finishing each day at 4.30pm. That left us plenty of time to enjoy the view before the sun went down and the sand flies came out. Mario agreed, and we continued on. I never thought anything more about it.

A few days later Mario reminded me about my suggestion. We chose an afternoon, and went back to what we were doing.

Later that night, we had a conversation about the very romantic topic of what last meal we would have if we were getting executed the following day. My two choices:

• His super amazing lasagne (he’d made it a week earlier so it was on my mind)
• His super amazing blue cheese gnocchi

Once again, I never thought any more about it (are we sensing a pattern here?)

Another few days later, on the morning of the day of our scheduled picnic Mario asked if I was interested in perhaps staying home that night and would make me the blue cheese gnocchi. His reasoning was that he was so honoured that I had chosen his food as his last meal, and so wanted to spoil me by making it. This wasn’t anything out of the ordinary for Mario though, so again, I wasn’t suspicious. In fact, the only thing I had on my mind was that I’m a greedy guts and hell yeah I wanted blue cheese gnocchi!

After an unusually great day at work, I came home to find the blanket on the floor with two pillows, two wine glasses and the remote. This would normally tip someone off that something was up, but alas this is actually a regular event for us. On random nights we’ll set ourselves up on the floor with some wine and cheese and have a picnic. So again I remained clueless. I later found out the ring was right there, hidden just underneath the couch!

Mario was still putting together the finishing touches on dinner, so he suggested I sit down and put on the telly while I waited for him. In my clueless state, I thought about a recent holocaust documentary that I had recorded on TV, and how I’d been hanging out to watch it. With hindsight, I can see that the look on Mario’s face was priceless, but at the time I thought he was just pissed that I was starting it without him. I offered to pause it, but he said it was fine and he would be right with me. So I continued to watch a show about hundreds of thousands of deaths, torture and starvation, not pleasant at all.

Dinner was brought down onto the rug, and we consumed it while watching some of the saddest stories I’ve ever seen (seriously – I nearly cried at some parts, once again really setting the romantic mood). I even went to the special effort of spilling some blue cheese sauce down my top; I guess I was trying to save it for later, neglecting to factor in that my white top would absorb the yellowy stain and form a crust on the surface of my top. Long story short, I looked even more sexier than usual.

After we finished eating, I laid down with my head on Mario’s chest. I’m slightly deaf in one ear, so with my head in position I could only really make out the words on the TV and that’s it. So when Mario tried to get my attention, he had to try several times. The conversation went something like this:

M: Do you know what would make this moment even better?

K: ………….. (silence)

M: Babe?

K: What?? (Slightly annoyed because he was talking while I was caught up in the midst of another sad moment on the documentary)

M: I asked you a question

K: Oh, sorry. What did you say?

M: What would make this moment even better?

K: What?

M: If you would be my wife? (Holds out the ring)

K: Are you f***ing s**ting me?! (So classy).

M: Will you be my wife?

K: Oh my god, yes! (Lots of rambling of words of disbelief with a curse word thrown in every few words for good measure)

M: (Insert 5 minutes of technical specifications about the ring, and insurance, and certification of the quality etc etc etc – to be honest I wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying)

K: I’m not going to remember anything of what you’re saying right now, but that is really pretty so can you please put it on my finger?

If you knew us personally, you would be able to see why that whole episode sums us up both individually and as a couple.

I love the fact that I unknowingly screwed up all of Mario’s best laid romantic plans. I love the fact that I spilled food on myself – it sums up how non-classy, and how bogan I am. I love the fact that Mario talked technical specs for so long after showing me the ring (torturing me at the time). I love that it’s so personal, and so us.

I’ve never been a romantic person, and certainly not someone that was into public displays of affection. All of that changed when I met Mario, and now that we’re engaged I’ve really crossed the line into a soppy female. So if you’re not into that sort of stuff, close the blog post now, cause I’m going to make you vomit.

I can’t believe how much I can’t wait to be his wife. We’ve got new pet names for each other, and I have even invented the term “fubby” (fiancee soon to be hubby; if it existed somewhere else I’d never heard of it). I’ve become so loved up it really is disgusting. I’m so glad that I’m in this relationship, because otherwise I would piss myself off with how gross we are.

Fun fact: I realised that night that our new initials put together would sound like “kiss ass” (Mario is not his real name btw – but I don’t disclose his real name on here).

So there ya go – that’s how I became the future Mrs!

I’d love to hear everyone else’s proposal stories. How did it all go down for you? Did you have any idea that it was coming?