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So very lost

I'm finding it really tough to read about other couples. I know that what C and I had wasn't healthy, but I loved him so deeply. I had thought about the future and planned it with him.

I saw it and I wanted it.

I think that's why now it's so tough. I feel a lot of self loathing. I wonder how I could have changed it, why it wasn't successful. Logically, I know it wasn't all me but that doesn't stop me from feeling the failure. When I first split with him my friend said to me “you haven't failed”, and I wondered what she meant back then. I hadn't felt like a failure. Now I get it, now I feel that sense of failure. [...]  read more

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Things I learned from attending a burlesque party

It was my friend's hens party last night, which was a burlesque themed party. There were corsets galore, lots of skimpy clothing, and general shenanigans that straight men and gay ladies could only dream of having been a part of. As part of the female code though, what happens at the party stays at the party.

I did learn some things though:

  • I seriously have NO idea when it comes to makeup or glamour. Heavy eye makeup? No idea. How to put on false eyelashes? It's good for a laugh to watch me try, but needless to say I went without false eyelashes.
  • Corsets can look seriously amazing on some people. Not me. When you don't have much to go with in the cleavage department it feels a little silly. We have photos of other ladies squeezing my chest together to try and get some cleavage action happening.
  • Dress ups are still so much fun
  • Burlesque dancing is quite fun, but difficult when you're packed under a marquee. Plus, when you don't know how to be sexy you spend your time making lots of jokes about pushing out your lack of boobs, and touching yourself. You then proceed to sing the Divinyls.
  • Burlesque party or not, you drink a lot you're going to have a hangover the following day. Owwies.
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    A month of yes

    Well this has been one hell of a month so far, and it's only one day in!!

    I've had some very exciting news at work, but we are still finalising the details. Basically I'm taking on the biggest challenge of my life, and it will involve managing others (although not their boss I'm responsible for scheduling them and using them as resources for my project, and I will be updating the boss on their performance). People management is not my speciality, heck I've never done it before, so I'm really looking forward to working on this area, and my communication skills in general. We all know I need help with that! I have specifically asked for training and my boss was very receptive to that, so it will be great for any future career aspects.  [...]  read more

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    Knackered

    Missy's position here pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now: exhausted.

    This morning saw my return to training again, which my legs are feeling in a major way. I don't know how I'm going to pull up in the morning but I will be trying to go for a run…will see how that goes. I'm not expecting a very successful pace or distance but will do my best. Gotta start somewhere again after such an extended period off!

    Right now it's only 9.15pm and I'm in bed ready to sleep; my trainer wil be thrilled. He's only been trying to get me to go to bed before 10.30pm for about 6-12months…so not long at all haha.  [...]  read more

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    Crazy weather on the Sunshine Coast

    Wowsers!! What a crazy 24 hours in Queensland!

    Rains and winds from the ex-tropical cyclone Oswald have battered the state, causing widespread flooding and damage. You can read full details on the news sites like news.com.au, which also has a pretty good gallery full of images.

    Sadly it seems as though there are lives that have been lost, and annoyingly there are still people taking risks by driving through floodwaters. Stay out of the water people!!

    Thankfully I have no incidents to report of. Where I live there's been no damage other than a few dead palms branches falling off (collected and stockpiled today), all of my family are healthy and accounted for, and my dog got spoiled by being allowed to spend the night inside in the garage. We have had power as well, which quite a few friends and family haven't been so lucky. I bet Bunnings are doing a roaring trade with generators today! [...]  read more