I can’t believe how quickly this wedding has snuck up on us. I mean, we’re mostly prepared but it’s just 5 days away. Oh my god!
I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about the day, largely stemming around the fact that I’m not good at having the spotlight on me. I can handle doing presentations for work, and speaking in crowds when it’s business or factual. But when I’m having nice things said about me, or I have to speak about an emotional topic, I completely lose it. My throat closes up, I can’t breathe, I certainly can’t talk, and I cry.
On Friday my workmates and I went downstairs after work to share a drink and toast the upcoming nuptials. They surprised me with a beautiful gift for the other half and I, and included a huge card with well wishes. I managed a few thank yous and hugs, and then feeling completely overwhelmed and without being conscious of my actions, I actually started to hide in behind my fiance. I became the shy girl. Needless to say, the question is on my mind:
How the hell am I going to read out vows in front of people?!
Google has never seen the search keywords for anxiety tips rank so high.
On top of that, I’ve been so highly stressed at work in the lead up to my holidays (we’re talking 60+ hours a week for a while now), and now that I’m on holidays I can feel the stress starting to ebb away. The problem is that my body has decided that now is the perfect opportunity to let me know just how worn down it is.
My lips have been tingling, which is usually a sign of a cold sore coming – typically caused by stress. I’ve been taking lyp-sine tablets for the last 2 days and rubbing zovirax in like it’s going out of fashion, and I’m praying like god I don’t get one. There would be nothing less sexy than going to kiss your new wife and she has herpes on her lips….beauuuutiful.
I’m also feeling ridiculously fatigued. The weekend just gone I had worked from 6am – 10pm, working with our development team until late trying to get things done urgently. The following day I was like a zombie – I stayed awake for a couple of hours, had a nap, went out for a bit, came home, had a nap, ate dinner, then back to bed for good. My partner barely saw me at all that day. The next day I was little bit better, but still very much a pain in the ass to be around.
Today I can feel I’m exactly the same. I had a solid 7.5 hours of sleep, woke up, and right now only 4 hours after getting out of bed I feel like I could go back for a nap. I’m irritable, and while I just want to get things done I have no patience to do them. My fiance is going well not to just head out for the day to catch a break.
Clearly I’m in the running for the best future wife award.
This week I’ve got something planned for each day in the lead up for the wedding: make up trials, last dress fitting and collection, spray tan, nails etc. Thankfully they’re all pretty easy and low stress things. Other than that, I think I just need to go and have a bath, put my feet up and just let my body build its strength. Otherwise the day will come, I’ll look and feel a mess, and it won’t be pleasant for anyone.
Any tips for getting through the vows without being a bawling mess!? Any suggestions on how to quickly feel a thousand times less worn out?