I can’t believe how quickly this wedding has snuck up on us. I mean, we’re mostly prepared but it’s just 5 days away. Oh my god!
I’m feeling a lot of anxiety about the day, largely stemming around the fact that I’m not good at having the spotlight on me. I can handle doing presentations for work, and speaking in crowds when it’s business or factual. But when I’m having nice things said about me, or I have to speak about an emotional topic, I completely lose it. My throat closes up, I can’t breathe, I certainly can’t talk, and I cry.
On Friday my workmates and I went downstairs after work to share a drink and toast the upcoming nuptials. They surprised me with a beautiful gift for the other half and I, and included a huge card with well wishes. I managed a few thank yous and hugs, and then feeling completely overwhelmed and without being conscious of my actions, I actually started to hide in behind my fiance. I became the shy girl. Needless to say, the question is on my mind:
How the hell am I going to read out vows in front of people?!
Google has never seen the search keywords for anxiety tips rank so high.
On top of that, I’ve been so highly stressed at work in the lead up to my holidays (we’re talking 60+ hours a week for a while now), and now that I’m on holidays I can feel the stress starting to ebb away. The problem is that my body has decided that now is the perfect opportunity to let me know just how worn down it is.
My lips have been tingling, which is usually a sign of a cold sore coming – typically caused by stress. I’ve been taking lyp-sine tablets for the last 2 days and rubbing zovirax in like it’s going out of fashion, and I’m praying like god I don’t get one. There would be nothing less sexy than going to kiss your new wife and she has herpes on her lips….beauuuutiful.
I’m also feeling ridiculously fatigued. The weekend just gone I had worked from 6am – 10pm, working with our development team until late trying to get things done urgently. The following day I was like a zombie – I stayed awake for a couple of hours, had a nap, went out for a bit, came home, had a nap, ate dinner, then back to bed for good. My partner barely saw me at all that day. The next day I was little bit better, but still very much a pain in the ass to be around.
Today I can feel I’m exactly the same. I had a solid 7.5 hours of sleep, woke up, and right now only 4 hours after getting out of bed I feel like I could go back for a nap. I’m irritable, and while I just want to get things done I have no patience to do them. My fiance is going well not to just head out for the day to catch a break.
Clearly I’m in the running for the best future wife award.
This week I’ve got something planned for each day in the lead up for the wedding: make up trials, last dress fitting and collection, spray tan, nails etc. Thankfully they’re all pretty easy and low stress things. Other than that, I think I just need to go and have a bath, put my feet up and just let my body build its strength. Otherwise the day will come, I’ll look and feel a mess, and it won’t be pleasant for anyone.
Any tips for getting through the vows without being a bawling mess!? Any suggestions on how to quickly feel a thousand times less worn out?
Lovely story. Tip: listen to your body. Give it what it needs. Rest, vitamins, gentle exercise and good nutrition. Xo
The chemist has these pills that you take at the first sign of a cold sore and it goes away. Go and ask and stock up. Also… you’re not saying vows in front of people, you’re making a commitment to your husband. He’s the only one that matters x
Take the time to soak it all in, you’re only going to do this once.
Also, what Bel said, you’re making a commitment to your husband, you’ll be speaking to him not anyone else.
Relax and stop stressing Kelly. Think about why you are marrying Andrew, all your good times and what you both plan for the future. Remember it is YOURS and DREW’s day so enjoy yourselves. Don’t worry about the guests – they are there to help you enjoy the occasion. If they aren’t supporting you then maybe they are not there for the right reason. You will never recapture this day so think positive and enjoy. Think only of the two of you and knowing your personality, if you stuff your lines, trip, bawl your eyes out (usually expected anyway) then it is your right and definitely the real Kelly.
On my way home from the hairdresser’s the taxi driver was mouthing off about having to go home and wash and decorate his taxi for a wedding that afternoon. I failed to tell him we had ordered two taxis and you can guess he was one of the drivers. We had our best man fall off a big construction vehicle when they were building Ross Dam and he only got out of bed the day before so then it was a mad dash to find matching shirts and ties for the 3 men.
I arrived at the church on time ahead of the priest and organist. Another guest hurt his back spearing a keg at his hotel so couldn’t come. My husband’s step grandfather had a turn on the day of our wedding so his wife could only come for the service. The men doing kitchen duty for us threw out the excess food before feeding the band members who were promised a meal. Finally an elderly guest enjoyed herself so much her wig went askew and through her activities ended up in hospital with an asthma attack.
They are some of the memorable things I an recall 44.5 years later. No doubt there will be many a story to be told (even exaggerated) but do you really want to have a wedding where nothing goes wrong, everyone is polite, and afterwards thinking perhaps that there was not that much to say about the day? Sorry we can’t catch up with you on Saturday but we will be completing a two day road trip with none of us three sisters liking to drive in Brisbane (most likely it will be me however). We will be catching up with some of your aunts while we are down there hopefully.
Looking forward to the next installment telling us how much you enjoyed your day and how silly it was to get so stressed out before. Congratulations and best wishes for a happy and successful marriage. Cheers, Marilyn.
Oh wow, what an eventful day!
I don’t mind about things going wrong, or screwing things up in front of everyone. I just worry about crying and not being able to say a word, but you know what? You’re totally right, it’s part of the moment and the process. It shows that I care, and that I mean everything I say. We wrote our vows, and it’s all coming straight from the heart. He means so much to me, and that’s what the tears and the wobbly voice are showing 🙂
And not a problem that we can’t catch up, sounds like you have a busy time ahead! Safe travels! xx
Belinda & Sarah: True, but even speaking to Drew I’m still going to cry hehe. But what you both and Marilyn have said (on the post itself) made me click that this is part of the day, and showing the emotion shows that I care and that it all means something to me. I’m not a robot, and I shouldn’t try to be one. I need to embrace the happy tears…and wear waterproof mascara!
Drink Champagne….the more expensive the better…x
Move your tounge against the roof of your mouth to avouid crying… best tip i ever got and it worked 😊😊
Cry – if that’s the emotion you feel then you must let it happen. Colin cried when we got married and we look at it now with fondness 30 years on!