Freaking out…

I had a great day again today food and habits wise, which is awesome. I even went over to the shops at lunch time to pick up some stuff and only had a fleeting temptation for chocolate. I was able to quickly dismiss it and move on. It’s so nice to have my mindset in the right place.

Tonight’s blog post is a bit scattered, sorry in advance. It matches my brain – I’m watching a show on the tv that’s freaking me out.

I’m tend to follow true crime stories, and follow along on a few communities about different stories. A while back I had seen footage of this guy who realised he had just been caught with incriminating evidence related to the murder of his wife and children. It was awful, truly horrifying.

Lately the communities have been talking about a show on netflix, “American Murder – The Family Next Door“. I bookmarked it to watch and kept putting it off. I didn’t want to watch it at night time before bed because I didn’t want that to be where my mind was at. Anything involving children has become infinitely harder to read/watch since I had Luca.

For some reason I started watching it tonight, and quickly realised it was that guy. The more I watched the more horrified I have become at watching just how well he plays the concerned husband.

I keep saying to my hubby tonight “if you ever want to leave me, just leave, please don’t hurt Luca or I”. Thankfully he keeps putting me in my place and telling me to shush (to clarify – I don’t believe that would ever happen, and we’re both very committed to a long-term happy family life for all of us).

It’s a gripping watch, but I have been on the brink of tears so often. I’ve audibly gasped multiple times. The unnecessary deaths, the affected families and friends – it’s just shocking. I have no other words, and I’m not even through the whole thing yet.

It’s hard to pinpoint what I find fascinating about true crime. I think honestly it’s about trying to understand these people that commit crimes. Trying to really understand why. It’s a fruitless search – I’ll never understand why.

Anyways, I’m going to finish watching this, hug my husband a bit tighter, send my son kisses without waking him, and just think about how to make each day worthwhile.

I’m so grateful they caught this monster.

Let me know your thoughts!