With the start of a new decade everyone has been reminiscing about where they were 10 years ago, which got me thinking about my own journey. Where was I 10 years ago? What have I done since? What lessons have I learned?
Here they are, in no apparent order:
1: 25 about to turn 26
10 years ago I was 25 and about to turn 26. I was with the same guy I had been with since I was 15, and we were engaged. The relationship was over except by name, and it would continue that way for one more year. It was more housemates than a relationship. Perhaps even friends, although we barely did anything together. The end of that relationship was like a weight off my shoulders.
I was working for a company that I had been with for 9 years. When I graduated high school I intended to have a year off and then go back to university, but after a few months I was bored. I got an office admin traineeship….and then stayed. I worked with some amazing people, but I wasn’t a fan of management and I was thrilled when I finally left that company. I’m still friends with the people I worked with.
I was immature, but thought I knew everything. What a fool.
2: I learned I loved to run
When the relationship ended I started running every morning. I lost weight, and started to feel better about myself. I even started swimming and became a lifesaver (for a short stint, and I never had to actually rescue anyone). When my next relationship ended, I once again turned to running after I was encouraged by a friend. I finally understood the relationship between my mental health and running.
Since then I’ve:
- Run a half marathon
- Entered in: the Bridge to Brisbane, City 2 Surf, Noosa 10k, Sunshine Coast 10k, River City 100 (my half marathon), and countless online events
- Run 100km in a month
- Run/walked over 250km in 14 days
- Joined an online running group that I love
- Annoyed everyone by talking about running non-stop (the true definition of a runner, no?)
3: Bad relationships and good relationships
From 2010 – 2020 I had four relationships:
- The 11 year stint mentioned above, which ended in 2011
- A “friends with benefits” style relationship, and we’re still friends to this day (no benefits, *ahem*)
- A 3 year relationship that wasn’t healthy for either of us
- Meeting my now-husband
Each one of these have taught me so much, both about myself and how I deal with others. The end of the relationship before my husband hurt, and it took a good 6 months for me to work through it. I was beyond broken, in the sense that I had literally no self esteem. I second guessed myself in everything, and couldn’t see my value. I rebuilt myself from the ground up.
If I hadn’t been through that I wouldn’t have the appreciation for the relationship I have now with my husband. I truly love this man more than I have loved anything else before. We aren’t perfect and we work on things every day, but that makes me love him even more. It’s real, it requires work, but that’s how it goes. As life changes we adapt with it. Together. I am so very grateful for what I have: a wonderful husband, father of my child and my soul mate.
4: My working life
When I finally decided I’d had enough of my old company and started looking around, I found another software company looking for someone with my skills. I applied for the job and didn’t get it, although they assured me they would reach out when they had another position. I didn’t believe them.
12 months later they contacted me and asked how much I wanted. The job was mine.
8 years later I’m still with the same company.
I’ve progressed from an office admin job through to Project Management, Software Support, eCommerce Support and Project Management, eCommerce Department Manager, and now Business Analyst. All of this has been through hard work and learning on the job.
I went back to uni temporarily, doing a part time Chemistry degree at night while still working full time. It didn’t pan out. Partly because my desire was to work in forensics, but when I started dating a policeman I discovered that I wouldn’t go ahead. I knew already that I was a workaholic, and the combination of police politics and my inability to let things go meant that I knew that mentally I wouldn’t be strong enough. Thank god for the former forensic scientists who wrote memoirs and helped me to realise it wasn’t for me.
I’m happy to just continue to have an interest in true crime (both reading and watching documentaries).
I love what I do now. It’s not ground-breaking work, and it’s not putting baddies behind bars, but I’m proud of what I do.
5: My wedding day
I was never one to dream about my wedding day as a young girl, and I certainly didn’t have a book with it planned out to the final degree.
But I lucked out and had a fairytale wedding.
We were married under a beautiful old tree, surrounded by family and friends, with a wonderful, hilarious celebrant. Our ceremony was a combination of romantic and humorous. It felt very “us”. I loved it.
We had an amazing photographer, and the photos just blew my mind. I’m forever kicking myself for not having a videographer of this day. I wish I could relive it over and over again. It’s the reason I’m going to be pushing for a 10 year “renew our vows” day…purely because I just want to try and go back in time.
6: The birth of my son
What a crazy, universe-changing moment. I had never pictured myself as a mother, and it took me a while to get my head around it when I fell pregnant.
I still find it hard to believe that I’m here, and that I have a child that calls me “mummy”.
Every single day I’m learning something new because of that little guy. He teaches me patience (and how to severely test what little I have). I look at things a different way, and rediscover the joys of simple things like blowing bubbles.
He knows exactly how to turn me into a blubbering mess. The other day he was being a butthead, and hit me with his car (he was cranky about something). Next minute he exclaims “sorry mummy” and kisses my leg, and I instantly turned to mush. His little voice, his emotion….he’s just beautiful.
Every night I still look on in amazement when he’s sleeping. He is my proudest achievement. There is a little person there, and he’s thriving, because of my husband and I. We did that! We made him! And he’s a cool little guy!
10 years ago I did not expect to be a mother, and yet here I am. And I am so damn proud.
7: Buying my first home
Fact: I am not great with money.
10 years ago I was flat out paying bills on time. I earned very little, and spent my money on pure crap.
Now, 10 years later I’m earning good money, and I still would spend my money on pure crap if it wasn’t for my husband.
It is only fitting that I therefore attribute the success of buying my first home 100% with my husband. He owned his previous property, which we sold and moved to our house. But it’s ours, not his. I pay for this place too.
I have never been so proud to actually be part of something like this. I am still getting my head around finances and trying to build good habits, but buying my first home with my husband was a major event for me.
8: Dropping my mental baggage
Some events that happened in my teens with my middle sister meant that I carried a lot of mental baggage with me. I had pure hatred flowing in my blood for over 20 years.
Unfortunately, my sister had some traumatic events happen that meant she’s going to be in a hospital with care for the rest of her life.
It took me a lot to go and visit her. When I did, every bit of that hatred left my body instantly. There was no point carrying it around anymore. The sister that had been the cause of that was not on this planet anymore.
Dropping that baggage, and beginning to build a new relationship was life-changing. It’s not been easy, and I’m still struggling to open my life to this new person. I’m not perfect, and there’s more that I can do.
I’m keeping this bit brief to protect other parties involved, but it needed a mention.
9: Hitting 12 years of my 52-in-52 list
I spent the entire decade last year writing lists! Every year I created a new list of 52 random things to do that year, and then working on it!
There’s too much to summarise, but it’s been crazy.
I honestly can’t imagine spending a year without a list. I’ve daydreamed, I won’t lie, but I just can’t do it. I love having something to plan out.
10: 16 years of blogging
I started writing in 2005 after encouragement from my oldest sister, and never would have dreamed I’d still be doing it all this time later.
It started when I was studying a Diploma of Justice (part of that desire to be a policewoman). The plan was to write about things related to the course, any true crime stories etc. Instead it became the true definition of a blog – an online diary.
Unfortunately, I’ve gone through whims in the past where I’ve just deleted everything I’d written and started again. I wanted the fresh restart. I wish I could go back and see what I’d done. The writing would be terrible (it still is) but it would be interesting to just read it all back!
The first post on my current version of my blog is from January 2013, shortly before my break up with my partner at the time. I wrote all through that break up.
In fact, this blog has been through my break up, my 6 month solo time, moving houses, meeting my husband, my wedding and my son. This blog is part of me. I will never delete these posts again because the memories are too valuable.
I think I’ll have to throw my blog a 10 year party in 2023. And maybe I’ll give it a bit of love – clean it up a bit. Do all that maintenance I keep talking about *grin*
So there it is! Some major highlights from the past 10 years! I can’t believe it’s all gone so fast!
Here’s my prediction for the next 10 years:
- Probably still crap with money
- Still kicking myself wondering how I became a mother of a teenager
- Still running (hopefully have completed my first marathon)
- Still happily married to my husband
- Still writing on my blog
Where will you be in 10 years?