I bet you’re probably getting sick of my weight loss journey and mental health posts. Or maybe not. Maybe you enjoy someone sharing the raw truth about just how bloody hard this is. Maybe you enjoy getting a peek into someone’s struggles and triumphs, and the rollercoaster ride that is. Or maybe you just enjoy reading about someone’s life and comparing it to your own. Whatever it is, you’re here reading.
Here’s another step in my journey for you to read.
A few weeks ago I started posting about my weight and mental health status on Wednesdays. I called it “Weigh in Wednesday”, the most non-unique name on the planet.
I’m not doing that anymore.
Why I started Weigh in Wednesday
My theory was that it would help to keep me accountable and focused on the end-goal. I thought by being public and posting on a routine basis that it would help me to shrug off the relapse into binge eating. If I had to tell people about it maybe I wouldn’t want to do it.
In actual fact it had the complete opposite effect.
I found that I was starting to get highly stressed. The pressure of having a loss on the scale was freaking me out. I lost weight three weeks in a row, which was great. Then my period came, I craved sugar and I had a blow out or two. The scales were even. I started drafting a blog post in my head trying to justify the reasons why I hadn’t lost weight. I started to critique my every action, even though logically it’s totally normal and natural for women to weigh heavier around that time of the month. While I could stand back and use my logic, the pressure just never ceased, and from there my desire to binge just increased.
To be successful I needed to change something. So I have cancelled Weigh in Wednesdays.
Revised plan of attack
For the last few days I’ve sat back, evaluated and reviewed, eaten way too many Easter eggs, and made myself sick from chocolate.
Then I finally came up with a plan. Here it is:
- No progress checks – for now I’m going to keep this battle to myself a bit more. I’m still going to openly talk about the ups and downs, but I don’t need to post my progress frequently and pressure myself.
- Get organised – I’ve drawn myself up a new weekly calendar. I have my run schedule in it, house cleaning routine, and most importantly, nominated a couple of nights a week where I go to bed early. Every second Sunday I will batch cook dinner and lunches and putting them in the freezer. The less I have to visit a grocery store the less chance I have of buying chocolate on a whim. If I have a schedule on the wall then I’ll stick to it.
- Simple goals – I need to break down my goals to make them achievable. Keep It Simple Stupid and all that. My binge eating centres around chocolate (hence why the lead up to Easter helped with the spiral out of control – there was chocolate everywhere). So instead of pressuring myself on what I can and can’t eat and when, I’m now limiting it to one blanket rule. No chocolate.
That’s it. Focus on not eating chocolate, get organised so I don’t have to make impulse decisions, and remove any pressure. Then once I have a handle on that I’ll continue to revise and adapt.
Phase 1 is now under way.