So I’m single again. We broke up at 2am this morning.
In my heart I know it’s the right thing to do. It just simply became too hard. I still love him, which is the tough part, but we just aren’t working.
The straw that broke the back was an argument over a road trip this weekend. I was concerned that he was about to start a drinking game at 12.30am when we were meant to be leaving for the airport at 5.15am to take a friend to the airport then continuing from there. I didn’t want a tired and grumpy boyfriend on the road trip. He said he would be fine with energy drinks and a couple of beers, that would keep him in good spirits. He also felt I was making assumptions on what time he would be coming to bed, because I said I was skeptical he would come to bed at the time he said he would.
We argued. He left the room. I tried to sleep.
At the so called “come to bed” time I got a text suggesting I go to the airport alone, then come back and get him and we start the road trip from there. I was angry about that suggestion as it seemed to justify my concerns. I went and spoke to him, we argued further, we called it quits.
I just don’t want a boyfriend where drinking is the priority. That’s how it feels, he doesn’t get it. Fine. He wants a girlfriend that doesn’t have standards and expectations that no matter what he feels he can’t meet. OK.
He called it off.
I’m not going to beg him to stay like I have previously. Despite the fact I seriously thought he could be my soulmate, I can’t go on like this. My heart and my head both agree it’s the right thing to do. I have faced this whole “life start over” thing before. I’m not afraid. I have a lot of reflection to do and a lot of experiences to learn from.
I’m single yet again.
Bring on 2013. This was my year for changing my life and becoming happy again, and maybe this was the first step I needed to take.
Step by step. Day by day.