There's one thing about my mother that has always bugged me when I watch her deal with people that have mistreated her, and completely taken advantage of her. She always believes they will change. She always believes it will come good. She always believes that she and that person will get along in the future. Normally that would be a good trait, but not when dealing with someone that should be forgotten about.
Throughout my breakup with C, I have seen a similar trait in myself, and I hate it.
To clarify, I'm not saying C has mistreated me or that I was exploited. I mean that I see in myself this ongoing optimism that we will be reunited at some point. Before we split for good, I believed that things would change. We have been separated for two months now and yet I still had this belief that at some point it would all come good again, despite the fact that I never publicly admitted it and certainly tried my best to not believe it.
It all finally came to head when I realised I was thinking about him 24/7, which is not how someone who has been separated for two months now should be reacting. I should be through all of this, I should be in the rebuild phase (which I had foolishly believed I was).
Over the past 24 hours I decided I needed to completely change everything. C and I had been friends on FB, we had casually chatted via text etc about how everything was going. We had acted like we were totally fine with the break up and that we were friends. I realised I needed to cut that out. Immediately. I needed to completely detach myself from him, and any memory of him. I felt I needed to completely forget his existence for a while.
So I de-friended him.