2018: a look back on the year that was

It’s incredible to think how much has changed in this past year. I started the year breastfeeding a 2 month old and couch bound a lot of the day, and finish the year training for my first ever half marathon. It’s been an up-and-down year, sure, like most people, but there is so much to be grateful for.

Once again I did the 1 Second Every Day video, which I’ve shared below for you. Take a look and let’s enjoy 2018: the year that was.

Highlights (in no particular order):

  • My son turning 1
  • Celebrating my second year of marriage with my husband
  • Running 5km with friends in the Sunshine Coast marathon festival, and doing the Muddy Rumble obstacle course with other friends/family
  • So much time with friends and family, loved it all
  • Dropping 20 years of anger and moving on
  • Losing 15kg
  • Our holidays away – Gold Coast, Stanthorpe, Townsville for my cousin’s wedding, camping trips
  • Being able to run again
  • Returning to work (a little bit of “me”)
  • Attending the Commonwealth Games (bucket list right there)
  • Those gigles from my son (nothing beats that sound)
  • Home renovations – pergola being built
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    Half marathon training diary – week 5 (35 weeks to go)

    Another 2 weeks down, and some more progress to report in! It’s been an interesting 2 weeks. I had a bit of a slump energy wise during week 4, but I have only missed one workout to so far (which was a cross training work out and not a run). Well, except for tonight, but there’s a reason for that. Kind of related, I also completed my second park run ever and shaved 6mins off my time – wahoo! On the equipment front I’m now parading around with some new shoes.

    Let’s take a look. [...]  read more

    December update for 52 in 52

    I just went to look at when I last posted an update on my 52 list, and it was March! Whaaat? Then I realised that I had a post from August in my drafts, oops. Guess there’s no point posting that one. Needless to say I’m extremely overdue in posting an update.

    There’s only one month left to go in the year so it’s a final sprint to finish the list, but I’m really excited at how things are looking right now. Let’s take a look!

    What’s left to go:

    There’s only 10 (!!!) items left on the list to complete this year. Of that, 4 of them are underway and nearly complete, and the others shouldn’t be too hard to complete. It’s just a matter of making the time!

    1. Write a blog letter to baby each month (this is my “Luca Letter” series) – I’ve got 2 letters to write, his 11 and 12 month letters.
    2. Make a photo book for Luca’s first year – this is also underway, hoping to get it finished this weekend.
    3. Take a family photo – we have photos of us all together, but I have something specific in mind. I want something nice, I don’t want a selfie.
    4. Accept help when offered as often as possible – this is something that doesn’t have a definite value for which I can measure whether it’s completed or not. I could say that it’s completed because I’ve been working on accepting help, and I have quite a few examples of that throughout the year. But I want to keep reminding myself of this right up until the year is over.
    5. See a doctor about my veins – booked in for a fortnight away. Recently my friend saw the veins in my ankle and was shocked at how bad they were. It will be interesting to see what the doc has to say.
    6. Frame/print a photo I’ve taken – still yet to do but quite a few that I want to print. The photo book also technically qualifies for this too.
    7. Learn how to do makeup – I’ve had a friend show me some techniques briefly, but I’d like to spend just a little bit of time trying out some techniques from online and just improve a bit more (if anyone out there is wonderful with makeup and wants to do a hard lesson with me I’d love it).
    8. 30 day declutter challenge – I went a bit easier on myself with this one in that it didn’t have to be 30 days in a row. It’s underway though, about 50% of the way through.
    9. Meditate for 5mins every day for a week – I’ve started this one so many times, and ultimately end up going to bed and forgetting to do it for a night. Going to make time for it this week.
    10. Have a date night with the husband 12 times (take turns to organise) – we’ve had 11 dedicated date nights for the year already, and the last one is coming up this week. To be clear, this is stuff that’s not just the usual “sit on the couch and watch tv”, it has to be where effort was made to make it feel like a date.

    Highlights from what I’ve accomplished this year

    There’s been so much that I’ve done this year, and I’ll post a full list at the end of the year, but I wanted to share some highlights.

  • Eat from a small plate every night for a week/pre-make a week’s worth of lunches: these ones were about portion control and controlling temptation. I ended up subscribing to Lite n Easy this year, which in my opinion has fulfilled both of these items. It’s been incredibly successful too, and as of the moment I’m 16kg down for the year, 26kg since I gave birth.
  • Go to a sporting event: I went to the Commonwealth Games this year – lifetime bucket list complete. It was amazing! I went to the swimming and cycling finals with my family (awesome), and the Closing Ceremony (not so awesome).
  • Run 5km: I did the 5km Sunshine Coast Marathon event with friends, and even this morning I did a 5km park run. Stay tuned for improvements on this task next year – I’ve signed up for my first ever half marathon!
  • Host a birthday party: We held a party for our son’s 1st birthday, which was amazing and went way too quickly. But it was so unbelievably fun and I can’t wait to plan his next one (but maybe don’t come too soon, I don’t want him growing up that fast!)
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    2017 vs 2018 – 15kg down: a photo comparison

    As I write this post I’m sipping on wine, and reminding myself why I’m posting these photos. I’m almost chanting it to myself.

    It’s all part of the journey. You’re just writing about the journey. It’s all part of the journey.

    Thing is, it’s bloody hard to post this. I’m not proud of the before photo, or the after photo. I’m not where I want to be. But I’m proud of the difference.

    Finding my photos

    I was going through photos the other night, trying to put together a photo album of my son’s first 12 months on earth when I stumbled upon my before photos. I had taken them and promptly forgotten about them.

    I was disgusted.

    Yes, I was overweight, but there was more than that. It was knowing why I was overweight. In that photo I saw a secret binge eater, someone who lacked discipline. It was someone extremely unhealthy and certainly wasn’t prioritising her health.

    A recap of the last year

    It’s been a big year..

    I was diagnosed with Binge Eating Disorder, something that threw me for quite a loop mentally. Once it had sunk in, suddenly my health became a lot easier to deal with. I began to learn my triggers and my weaknesses. I could identify when I felt a binge episode coming on. Since I was diagnosed, there’s only one time I can think of that I binged, and even then it was a much lower scale than I used to in the past.

    To this day I still message friends when I am struggling. Their support is invaluable. When I go grocery shopping I tell my husband everything I bought, not because he wants to cares, but because I want to be accountable.

    The other day I had insatiable cravings for chocolate. I knew that if I went into the grocery store I would relapse. I would adopt the all-too familiar zombie state, and before I knew it would be in the confectionary aisle loading up. So I avoided the store altogether.

    I’ve been using Lite n Easy to lose weight. I’ve removed the decision making for myself from food. It’s not a long term solution but it’s the solution for me right now.

    It’s all working.

    2017 vs 2018

    I just had another sip of wine (or three). I need a refill.

    The biggest changes are visible on the side view. My bubble bum has decreased, as has my stomach. I’ve also lost a lot in the chest area, which to me isn’t such a bad thing since I enjoy running and a smaller chest makes it a lot more comfortable to run.

    On the front I’m starting to get a bit of stomach definition back. I still have a pouch to get rid of, but it doesn’t overhang my underwear anymore. I still remember messaging a friend excitedly the day I could see my c-section scar in the mirror without sucking in my gut.

    I tried to wear the same underwear but I think I chose a different pair; the shape is a little misleading on the rear shot I think. The shape around my butt has changed. I took these photos this morning and it was still a little dark, hence the shadow from the lights. It’s made it harder to tell but my midsection has changed, and my rolls are smaller. I call them my back boobs. I’ll be glad when they’re gone.

    What’s the plan for 2019?

    Maybe I should commit to another photo, I’m not sure yet. But the goal is to hit my goal weight, and right now that’s looking like it should happen around March.

    Here’s a crazy fact. There’s 15kg difference in those images and I still have 15kg to goal weight. I’m only half way. Imagine when I get there, and the changes between 2017 and 2019?

    I can’t wait.

    Because in 2019 that will be a girl that is healthy. That has been disciplined. That has done the hard yards and kept the eating disorder demon at bay. That is a healthy weight, fit, and setting a good example for her child.

    I’m already becoming that person. I will stay that person.

    I’m not there yet, but I’m starting to feel proud of myself again.