Soundwave 2013

Sorry folks, been a little bit busy lately and haven't really made time to blog! The most recent reason for being busy was spending all day Saturday volunteering at a music festival, Soundwave. And I will be doing it all over again at Future Music festival this coming weekend, phew!

One of the things I love most about volunteering at these festivals is the opportunity to wind up in the most amazing places! A friend and I went down to help out at the front of the main stage handing out water to the crowd, and ended up staying there for most of the day. I think I sat down for about 20mins all day tops, and my legs sure felt it the next day. It's Monday morning now, and they're still sore (didn't stop me from going to training this morning though). [...]  read more

Dinner, TV, bed: my Friday night

It's been a big week for me. I spent every night of this week out and about at night after work, from collecting the last of my things from C's place to hanging out with mates. Needless to say tonight I'm super keen to just sit on the couch, watch TV and indulge in a bit of reading.

I've cooked my dinner already, whipping up a bit of spaghetti. I'm still adjusting to cooking for one, but the bonus is how much leftover food I have. Hello frozen meals!!

Tomorrow I'm visiting the hairdresser (we had to move my appointment forward by a number of weeks due to my schedule being booked up for the next few weeks) and also a big movie marathon at a friend's house. I can't wait! It's also one of my 52 in 52 items too, speaking of which it needs updating to remove the ones C and I were meant to do together. [...]  read more

Heyyyy…I’m 29 and had an awesome weekend

So today begins the last year of my 20's, as I have now hit the ripe old age of 29. Just in time to get my life sorted for the 30's; there's no better time than now!

Courtesy of my amazing friends and family, I had an absolute cracker of a weekend. It began Friday night when a friend and I headed down to the local stadium to watch the QLD Reds take on the chiefs, which they unfortunately lost. However it did mean that I met my new favourite player, only for the extremely shallow reason that he is gorgeous. Other than that I don't really follow Rugby Union. [...]  read more

So very lost

I'm finding it really tough to read about other couples. I know that what C and I had wasn't healthy, but I loved him so deeply. I had thought about the future and planned it with him.

I saw it and I wanted it.

I think that's why now it's so tough. I feel a lot of self loathing. I wonder how I could have changed it, why it wasn't successful. Logically, I know it wasn't all me but that doesn't stop me from feeling the failure. When I first split with him my friend said to me “you haven't failed”, and I wondered what she meant back then. I hadn't felt like a failure. Now I get it, now I feel that sense of failure. [...]  read more

When will the pain to go away?

I'm so weak right now.

If he called I would go running.

I hate myself for it.

It hurts so much, the pain is incredible. Everything reminds me of him. I feel like I have no stories that aren't about him, or involve him in some way.

I just want to feel his arms around me, the warm protective embrace he had. Even if we had argued I always felt so safe there. My safe place, my haven.

Every day I walk out of the office I see work vehicles that remind me of him. I go to a football game, it's his team. I try to have fun but my mind returns to him. I scan the crowd, hoping to glimpse a sight of him, not knowing if he is actually there or not.  [...]  read more