When will the pain to go away?

I'm so weak right now.

If he called I would go running.

I hate myself for it.

It hurts so much, the pain is incredible. Everything reminds me of him. I feel like I have no stories that aren't about him, or involve him in some way.

I just want to feel his arms around me, the warm protective embrace he had. Even if we had argued I always felt so safe there. My safe place, my haven.

Every day I walk out of the office I see work vehicles that remind me of him. I go to a football game, it's his team. I try to have fun but my mind returns to him. I scan the crowd, hoping to glimpse a sight of him, not knowing if he is actually there or not.  [...]  read more

Just another stupid love song

This song sums up how I have been feeling in the last day or so. To update you, C and I had an argument which ended the relationship for good. I will probably spend time writing my feelings down in the next few days while I let it sink in, but for now this song is capturing my mood pretty damn well.


Its one thing to ask why we break up. Have you ever wondered why it is we fall in love? Can you tell me? Do you know what it is you're looking for? What do we need? Can you tell me why I care? How is it that we hear that voice that says i want you there? [...]  read more

Things I learned from attending a burlesque party

It was my friend's hens party last night, which was a burlesque themed party. There were corsets galore, lots of skimpy clothing, and general shenanigans that straight men and gay ladies could only dream of having been a part of. As part of the female code though, what happens at the party stays at the party.

I did learn some things though:

  • I seriously have NO idea when it comes to makeup or glamour. Heavy eye makeup? No idea. How to put on false eyelashes? It's good for a laugh to watch me try, but needless to say I went without false eyelashes.
  • Corsets can look seriously amazing on some people. Not me. When you don't have much to go with in the cleavage department it feels a little silly. We have photos of other ladies squeezing my chest together to try and get some cleavage action happening.
  • Dress ups are still so much fun
  • Burlesque dancing is quite fun, but difficult when you're packed under a marquee. Plus, when you don't know how to be sexy you spend your time making lots of jokes about pushing out your lack of boobs, and touching yourself. You then proceed to sing the Divinyls.
  • Burlesque party or not, you drink a lot you're going to have a hangover the following day. Owwies.
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    A month of yes

    Well this has been one hell of a month so far, and it's only one day in!!

    I've had some very exciting news at work, but we are still finalising the details. Basically I'm taking on the biggest challenge of my life, and it will involve managing others (although not their boss I'm responsible for scheduling them and using them as resources for my project, and I will be updating the boss on their performance). People management is not my speciality, heck I've never done it before, so I'm really looking forward to working on this area, and my communication skills in general. We all know I need help with that! I have specifically asked for training and my boss was very receptive to that, so it will be great for any future career aspects.  [...]  read more


    Missy's position here pretty much sums up how I am feeling right now: exhausted.

    This morning saw my return to training again, which my legs are feeling in a major way. I don't know how I'm going to pull up in the morning but I will be trying to go for a run…will see how that goes. I'm not expecting a very successful pace or distance but will do my best. Gotta start somewhere again after such an extended period off!

    Right now it's only 9.15pm and I'm in bed ready to sleep; my trainer wil be thrilled. He's only been trying to get me to go to bed before 10.30pm for about 6-12months…so not long at all haha.  [...]  read more